How to ensure people feel connected and part of a team: Strategy #2.4 – Proactively manage conflict within the team

We have previously published a series of people leadership strategies around the themes of people feeling supported, valued and safe; creating a ‘team environment’; supporting learning and growth; empowering staff and building autonomy; ensuring clarity of roles and expectations; and creating meaning and purpose.

Practical Ideas Guides

We are now going to explore the actionable steps that you can take to enable the suggested strategies and actions.  This is one in a series of 31 posts providing specific descriptions of the actions in practice. (There is one practical idea guide for each people leadership strategy)

So, this post focuses on the theme of helping people feel connected and part of a team.  In a previous post we have talked through 6 overarching strategies to support people feel supported, valued, and safe:

2.1 Open up decision-making and information in the team

2.2 Create opportunities for team members to work on projects and problems together

2.3 Work on the ‘team’ to build a sense of ‘we’

2.4 Proactively manage conflict within the team

2.5 Cultivate personal connectedness within the team

In this post we take a deep dive into the specific strategy of:

2.4 Proactively manage conflict within the team

Poor behaviours and simmering tensions amongst staff members can be contagious and dire for morale across the team and as such leaders need to address these issues early and authoritatively. So, here are some of the actions that can be taken to put this leadership strategy into practice:

1. Actively consider ‘fairness’ when making decisions that affect team members.  

People don’t expect every decision to go in their favour, but they do expect decisions to feel fair, consistent, and thoughtfully considered. As a leader, many of your decisions will affect how people experience trust, respect, and inclusion within the team. Your role is not to avoid difficult decisions, but to make them in a way that people can see is balanced and reasonable.

1. Slow down and deliberately apply a “fairness check”

When making decisions that affect individuals differently, pause and ask yourself:

  • Would I be comfortable explaining how I reached this decision?
  • Have I applied consistent reasoning across the team?
  • Am I being influenced by convenience, familiarity, or personal preference?

This helps move decisions from instinctive to deliberate.

2. Consider how the decision might be experienced by others

Before finalising a decision, think about how different team members may interpret it. Ask yourself:

  • Who might see this as unfair, and why?
  • Are there perspectives or impacts I’ve overlooked?
  • Is there additional context or communication people may need?

You do not need everyone to agree with the outcome, however people should be able to see the logic behind it.

3. Be consistent – especially in the small things

Perceptions of fairness are often shaped by patterns over time. Pay attention to consistency in areas such as:

  • Work allocation
  • Flexible work arrangements
  • Access to opportunities
  • Recognition and feedback
  • Development and visibility

Small inconsistencies are often noticed more than leaders realise.

4. Explain decisions transparently

When decisions significantly affect people:

  • Explain the reasoning clearly
  • Reference the factors you considered
  • Be honest about trade-offs or constraints

For example:

“I weighed up X, Y and Z in making this decision.”

Transparency builds trust – even when the outcome is disappointing.

5. Invite questions without becoming defensive

People may still challenge or question decisions. When they do:

  • Listen calmly
  • Explore their perspective
  • Be willing to reconsider if appropriate
  • Avoid becoming defensive simply because you were challenged

Sometimes fairness is judged as much by how you respond as by the decision itself. When people believe decisions are made thoughtfully and consistently, trust in leadership strengthens – even when outcomes are not equal for everyone.

2. Encourage and support team members to raise and resolve issues with each other.  

Disagreement and tension are normal in teams. As a leader, your role is not to solve every interpersonal issue yourself, but to help people develop the capability and confidence to work through disagreements directly and constructively. Stepping in too quickly can unintentionally create dependency, increase perceptions of “taking sides,” and weaken accountability between team members.

1. Encourage direct conversation first

When someone raises an issue about another team member, resist the urge to immediately step in and fix it. Instead, encourage them to speak directly with the person involved. Useful coaching questions include:

  • “What do you think you need to say to them?”
  • “What outcome are you hoping for?”
  • “How could you approach the conversation constructively?”

Your role at this stage is to coach, not mediate.

2. Help people prepare for the conversation

Many people avoid difficult conversations because they are unsure how to handle them. Support them to:

  • Focus on the issue, not the person
  • Describe specific behaviours and impacts
  • Stay curious about the other person’s perspective
  • Aim to resolve, not “win”

Ensure they are clear about what they will do next and when.

3. Step into a facilitation role if needed

If direct discussion doesn’t resolve the issue, you may need to facilitate a conversation. In this situation:

  • Stay neutral
  • Focus on helping both people understand each other’s perspective
  • Guide the discussion toward practical solutions and agreements

Your role is to create a constructive process – not to immediately decide who is right.

4. Step in more directly when necessary

Some situations require more direct leadership intervention. For example:

  • Behavioural misconduct
  • Bullying or disrespectful behaviour
  • Ongoing unresolved conflict affecting the team
  • Situations involving risk or wellbeing concerns

In these cases, you may need to make decisions, set expectations clearly, or engage formal support processes.

5. Reinforce that resolving issues is part of being a professional

Help create a team culture where respectful, direct conversation is normal. Regularly reinforce that:

  • Disagreement is acceptable
  • Avoidance and using others as go-betweens are not helpful
  • Team members are expected to work through issues constructively where possible

Over time, this builds a more mature and resilient team dynamic.

When you encourage people to resolve issues constructively with each other, you build stronger relationships, greater accountability, and a healthier team culture over time.

3. ‘Call it out’ when you see poor behaviours or attitudes – don’t let it drift.   

Poor behaviours and negative attitudes rarely improve through avoidance. As a leader, one of your responsibilities is to address behaviours that undermine trust, collaboration, or team standards before they become normalised. Handled early and constructively, these conversations are usually easier, fairer, and more effective than waiting until frustration builds.

1. Address issues early and privately

When you observe behaviour that concerns you:

  • Don’t ignore it or hope it resolves itself
  • Speak to the person as close in time as reasonably possible to the situation
  • Have the conversation privately and respectfully

Small issues left unaddressed often become larger cultural problems over time.

2. Focus on specific behaviours, not personality

Be clear and objective about what you observed. A useful structure is:

  • Situation – when and where it occurred
  • Observation – what you specifically saw or heard
  • Impact – the effect it had or could have on others or the team

For example:

Situation: “In yesterday’s meeting…”
Observation: “…I noticed you interrupted others several times and dismissed two suggestions quickly.”
Impact: “…I think it shut down contribution from others in the room.”

Situation: “In yesterday’s meeting…”
Observation: “…I noticed some voices had less opportunity to finish their thoughts, and a couple of suggestions were moved past quickly.”
Impact: “…this seemed to narrow the range of perspectives being heard.”

Specificity reduces defensiveness and keeps the discussion constructive.

3. Explore their perspective before jumping to conclusions

After sharing your observations:

  • Ask for their perspective
  • Listen carefully to context or intent
  • Stay curious rather than accusatory

For example:

  • “How did you see the situation?”
  • “What was happening for you at the time?”

This helps separate misunderstanding, stress, habits, and intentional behaviour.

4. Agree on what needs to change

The goal is not just awareness – it’s behaviour change.

Before finishing the conversation, clarify:

  • What needs to be different moving forward
  • What good behaviour would look like
  • What support may help sustain the change

Keep expectations practical and specific.

5. Reinforce the standards you want in the team

Addressing poor behaviour is not only about correcting individuals – it also signals team standards. When you consistently address issues respectfully and early, people learn:

  • What is acceptable
  • What is not
  • That team culture actually matters

Silence often gets interpreted as permission.

When you address poor behaviour early, clearly, and respectfully, you protect both team relationships and the standards that allow people to work well together.

4. Carefully consider issues of poor performance and address poor performance or behaviour issues quickly and respectfully.  

When poor performance or behaviour is left unaddressed, it affects more than the individual involved. Over time, it can reduce team morale, create resentment, and undermine confidence in leadership. As a leader, your role is to address issues early, respectfully, and fairly—while first making sure the person has genuinely been set up to succeed.

1. Don’t wait – address issues early and directly

If you notice a performance or behaviour concern:

  • Raise it early rather than waiting for formal review periods
  • Be specific about what you’ve observed
  • Focus on understanding and improvement, not judgement

Early conversations are usually easier and more effective than delayed ones.

2. First ask: “Have they been set up to succeed?”

Before concluding someone is underperforming, consider whether the conditions for success are actually in place. Ask yourself:

  • Are expectations clear?
  • Do they have the necessary resources and support?
  • Do they have the required skills or training?
  • Is the workload realistic?
  • Does the role align reasonably well with their strengths and motivations?

This shifts the initial focus from judgement to diagnosis.

3. Work with the person to improve performance

Where gaps exist:

  • Clarify expectations
  • Provide support or coaching
  • Adjust resources, priorities, or ways of working where appropriate
  • Agree on what improvement looks like and how progress will be reviewed

At this stage, you are managing for performance – not managing underperformance.

4. Be honest if there may be a role fit issue

If support and clarity do not lead to improvement over time, you may need to explore whether the role is the right fit. Approach this respectfully and constructively:

  • Discuss strengths and challenges openly
  • Explore whether another role or environment may suit them better
  • Support thoughtful next steps where appropriate

These conversations are difficult but avoiding them rarely helps the individual or the team.

5. Use formal processes when necessary – not as the first step

If issues continue despite support and clear feedback:

  • Follow organisational performance management processes
  • Seek guidance from HR or relevant support areas
  • Be fair, consistent, and well documented throughout

Formal processes should generally follow genuine efforts to support improvement, not replace them.

When you address performance concerns early, respectfully, and consistently, you support both individual improvement and a stronger, more accountable team culture.

5. Open the lines of communication – make sure you give people to chance to ask questions; talk about what they see to be going on; express their feelings.

When tension or conflict starts emerging in a team, silence rarely improves the situation. If concerns are left unspoken, people often fill the gaps through assumptions, gossip, side conversations, or frustration. As a leader, your role is not to avoid uncomfortable conversations, but to create a safe and constructive way for issues to be discussed openly before they escalate.

1. Don’t ignore emerging tension

Pay attention to early signs such as:

  • Changes in tone or behaviour
  • Increased frustration or defensiveness
  • Side conversations or cliques
  • Reduced collaboration or trust

A useful question might be “If we don’t address this now, what might it become?”

Small unresolved issues often grow over time.

2. Set up the conversation carefully

Before bringing people together:

  • Be clear about the purpose of the discussion
  • Frame it as problem-solving, not blame
  • Establish simple ground rules such as one person speaks at a time; listen respectfully; seek to understand before responding; focus on issues and impacts, not personal attacks

The way you open the conversation will strongly shape how safe people feel participating.

For example…

“Thanks for making the time. I’ve noticed a few signs of tension in the team recently, and rather than let that build, I thought it would be helpful for us to talk it through together. My goal here is to understand what’s going on from your perspectives and work out how we move forward as a team.”

“From time to time, teams hit moments where things feel a bit off or tense. That’s normal, but it’s important we talk about it early. I’d like to create a space where we can share what we’re seeing and experiencing, so we can address it together.”

3. Help the team separate facts, interpretations, and feelings

Taking a role of facilitator, guide the conversation through three layers:

  • Facts – What actually happened?
  • Interpretations – What meaning are people attaching to it?
  • Feelings/Impact – How has it affected people?

This helps reduce assumptions and creates clearer shared understanding.

4. Keep the conversation open long enough for people to feel heard

Avoid rushing too quickly to solutions. People are more likely to move forward when they feel:

  • Heard
  • Understood
  • Able to express concerns safely

Your role is to slow the conversation down enough for understanding to emerge – not just to end discomfort quickly.

5. Move toward resolution – but be prepared to make a call

Where possible, help the group develop:

  • Shared understanding
  • Agreements about behaviour or communication
  • Practical next steps

However, if the team cannot resolve the issue themselves, you may need to make a decision and provide direction. Even when people disagree with the outcome, they are more likely to accept it if they feel they had a genuine opportunity to be heard. When you create space for honest, respectful conversation, you help prevent conflict from escalating and strengthen the team’s ability to work through challenges together.

What Next?

Having read this practical guidance, some questions you may want to ask yourself might be:

  • Are there one or two ideas emerging for me that I might want to put into practice?
  • What is the smallest thing I could do that might have a positive impact?
  • How will I hold myself accountable for following through on my actions?

Good luck!

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