How to ensure people feel supported, valued, and safe: Strategy #1.3 – Actively encourage appropriate behaviours.

We have previously published a series of people leadership strategies around the themes of people feeling supported, valued and safe; creating a ‘team environment’; supporting learning and growth; empowering staff and building autonomy; ensuring clarity of roles and expectations; and creating meaning and purpose.

Practical Ideas Guides

We are now going to explore the actionable steps that you can take to enable the suggested strategies and actions. This is one in a series of 31 posts providing specific descriptions of the actions in practice. (There is one practical idea guide for each people leadership strategy)

So, this post focuses on the theme of helping people feel supported, valued, and safe. In a previous post we have talked through 6 overarching strategies to support people feel supported, valued, and safe:

1.1 Communicate openly and authentically

1.2 Provide direct help and support.

1.3 Actively encourage appropriate behaviours

1.4 Provide the necessary resources.

1.5 Share information regularly

1.6 Show appreciation and recognition

In this post we take a deep dive into the specific strategy of:

1.3 Actively encourage appropriate behaviours.

People will be affected by the behaviours of their colleagues (not just you as the leader) so you have a role to drive positive behavioural norms in the group, including quickly addressing poor behaviours. So, here are some of the actions that can be taken to put this leadership strategy into practice:

1. Work with the team to develop a set of team values and behaviours.

A shared set of team values and behaviours helps create clarity, alignment, and accountability. They act as a foundation for how the team works together and how individuals show up day to day. You don’t have to start from scratch — you can build on your organisation’s values or co-create your own with the team. Involving your team in the process will increase ownership and commitment. In a short workshop you could work through the following process:

1. Generate possible values

Provide a list of values as inspiration (e.g., Brene Brown’s list).
Ask each person to select a few that matter most to them in the team context.
Share and compare selections as a group.

2. Narrow down and agree

Look for themes and overlaps in the group’s choices.
Use discussion, theming, or simple voting to narrow the list to 3–5 core values.
Aim for values that are meaningful, memorable, and directly relevant to how your team works.

3. Translate values into behaviours

For each value, work with the team to define 3–4 specific behaviours that demonstrate what “living this value” looks like in practice.

Use active verbs (e.g., “share,” “challenge,” “support”).
Keep them observable and measurable (others should be able to see/hear the behaviour in action).
Ensure they fit your real work environment (avoid generic or unrealistic wording).

2. Lead by example – actively demonstrate the positive behaviours you expect from others.

Your team will notice and be influenced by how you act, often more than by what you say. One of the most powerful ways to build the right team culture is to actively demonstrate the behaviours you expect from others.

Being intentional about this helps ensure you’re modelling the right things consistently, not just when it’s easy.

1. Identify key behaviours

Start with the team values and behaviours you’ve agreed on.
Choose 1–2 specific behaviours you want to role-model at a time (e.g., listening without interrupting or acknowledging contributions in meetings).
You may wish to capture these in a ‘list’

2. Use ‘triggers’ to remind yourself

Event triggers: Before regular activities (team meetings, one-on-ones, project briefings), pause for a moment to identify which behaviour(s) you want to demonstrate. For example, before a team meeting you might decide: “Today I’ll focus on asking open questions and giving credit for progress.”
Time triggers: Set a day, week, or month to put deliberate emphasis on a particular behaviour, so it becomes a habit over time.

3. Reflect and learn

After the meeting or time period:

Take a few minutes to reflect: Did I demonstrate the behaviour I intended? How did people respond?
Note down one takeaway to carry forward.
Using Marshall Goldsmith’s ‘daily questions’ technique could help you here – keeping track ‘Did I do my best to…?’
Over time, you’ll build stronger self-awareness and consistency.

3. Ask for feedback on your own behaviours and encourage team members to provide feedback to each other.

Feedback is one of the most powerful tools for growth — but it can feel uncomfortable if it’s not role-modelled well. To encourage your team to give feedback to each other, you first need to demonstrate your own openness and show that feedback is safe, specific, and useful.

1. Model the behaviour

Ask your team for feedback on your own behaviours before expecting them to do it with each other.
Use your agreed team behaviours as the framework.
Make the request specific: “Could you share two behaviours you’ve seen me demonstrate well, and two you’d like me to focus on more over the next 3 months?” This shifts the focus to feedforward (what to do more of in future) rather than only critique.

2. Explore together

When a team member highlights behaviours to strengthen, ask them: “What would that look like in practice?” “Can you give me an example of when it would make the biggest difference?”
This makes the feedback concrete and actionable.

3. Share your goals arising from the feedback you have taken on

This ‘closes the loop’ with people. It let’s them know you’ve listened, that you’ve taken this feedback seriously. This will help with encouraging future feedback and a stronger feedback rich culture.
This also makes it clear what specifically you plan to focus on. It increases your accountability to follow through.
You may also wish to share these goals with others. Another example of feedforward. ‘I’d like to get better at…If you had an idea for something that could help me, what would it be?’

4. Encourage peer-to-peer feedback

Once you’ve modelled it, invite them to try the same with a colleague.
Encourage them to keep it simple: 2 behaviours they value and want to see continued; 2 behaviours they’d like to see more of

5. Keep reinforcing

Revisit feedback in your one-on-ones and team check-ins.
Recognise when team members act on feedback or give it constructively to each other.
Over time, this builds a culture where feedback is normalised, safe, and growth oriented.

4. Acknowledge and recognise positive behaviours that you see around you.

One of the most effective ways to embed positive behaviours in your team is to notice them, call them out, and celebrate them. Recognition doesn’t need to be grand or formal — it simply needs to be specific, timely, and consistent.

1. Be specific and link to behaviours

General praise (e.g., “Good job”) is nice but doesn’t reinforce what matters most. Connect your recognition back to the team’s agreed behaviours. For example:

“I was impressed with how you handled that stakeholder pushback — it was a great example of our value of collaboration.”

This not only acknowledges the effort but reminds the whole team what “living the values” looks like in practice.

2. Use both private and public recognition

Private recognition (one-on-one): Builds trust and shows you’ve noticed the individual effort.
Public recognition (team or project meetings): Reinforces the importance of behaviours and encourages others to follow suit.

Mix both approaches so recognition feels authentic, not formulaic.

3. Make it a regular habit

Build recognition into weekly one-on-ones and team meetings.
Look for daily opportunities in casual interactions — even a quick “thanks” or “I noticed what you did there” makes a difference.
Consistency matters more than intensity. Small but frequent recognition helps shape team culture.

4. Don’t worry about repetition

Even if it feels repetitive to you, your consistency signals that you are serious about embedding the behaviours. Over time, this creates a virtuous cycle where positive behaviours are noticed, reinforced, and repeated.

5. Call it out when you observe poor behaviours – some people may not realise they are being negative until ‘they look in the mirror’. Negativity can be infectious.

Negative or unhelpful behaviours can spread quickly in a team. If they’re not addressed, they risk creating cynicism and eroding trust. As a manager, it’s your responsibility to call out poor behaviours early and constructively — showing the team that standards matter.

Step 1. Decide when and where to call it out

Publicly (rarely): Only if the behaviour is minor, clear-cut, and can be addressed without humiliating the person (e.g., light humour in a meeting).
Privately (most often): Use a one-on-one conversation, held soon after the behaviour occurs, while the details are still fresh and the impact is clear.

Step 2. Use the SOI framework (Situation – Observation – Impact)

1. Engage Early and Clarify Support

Situation: Describe when/where the behaviour happened: “In yesterday’s project meeting…”
Observation: Share what you directly saw or heard: “…I noticed you interrupt Sarah several times while she was explaining her point.”
Impact: Explain the effect of the behaviour: “…this made it harder for her to contribute and may discourage others from speaking up.”
This TED video shares more about this technique.

Step 3. Invite reflection and problem-solving

Encourage the person to reflect and take ownership:

“How do you see it?”
“What do you think the impact might be?”
“What could you do differently next time?”

Step 4. Follow up if needed

If the behaviour continues, be firmer and set clear expectations. But if they make changes, recognise the improvement — this reinforces accountability while keeping the relationship positive.

6. Act to resolve conflict quickly and try to broker positive outcomes for all players.

Conflict in a team is natural — but if left unresolved, it can quickly damage trust, collaboration, and psychological safety. As a leader, your role is to address conflict early and guide people toward a constructive outcome.

Step 1. Spot conflict early

Pay attention to subtle signs: changes in tone, avoidance, rising tension in meetings, or reduced collaboration. Acting early prevents small disagreements from becoming bigger issues.

Step 2. Listen to individuals privately

Meet with each person one-on-one.
Give them space to share their perspective fully and feel heard.
Ask open questions like:
- “What’s been happening from your point of view?”
- “What’s most important to you in this situation?”
Acknowledge their concerns without taking sides.

Step 3. Bring people together

Facilitate a joint conversation where both can share views respectfully.
Keep the focus on shared goals (e.g., project outcomes, team values, stakeholder needs).
Guide them toward identifying common ground and possible compromises.

Step 4. Set expectations and agreements

Be clear about the behaviours you expect going forward.
Summarise the agreed actions or commitments in the meeting.
Confirm how you’ll check in (e.g., revisit progress in 2 weeks).

Step 5. Follow up

Monitor interactions to ensure progress is being made.
Recognise improvements and reinforce positive behaviours.

What Next?

Having read this practical guidance, some questions you may want to ask yourself might be:

Are there one or two ideas emerging for me that I might want to put into practice?
What is the smallest thing I could do that might have a positive impact?
How will I hold myself accountable for following through on my actions?

Good luck!